Life has been ...challenging and full of changes the past few years. It has been a bit of a rollercoaster with so many dips and turns. I have learned multiple life lessons and I have found out so much about myself and the people in my life. My last post shared about how life was telling me that it was just time to slow down, even if I wasn't ready to. I went through a pandemic, I watched my family become something new and different, I saw myself grow into the person that I am supposed to be and I realized how precious time is. I don't waste an ounce of it now. To some who don't really know me, my behaviors may seem a bit forward? selfish? childish? over the top at times? But what life has taught me is that it is not my business to care what other people think of me, only to make sure that I stand my ground and do what I feel is necessary. It took me 48 years to realize that I don't have to mold myself into what I am told that I should be. I am embracing it fully.
This past holiday, my boyfriend's mother sent me a gift- a beautiful snowflake ornament. She has been so kind and accepting of both me and my daughter. Her gift is part of an annual tradition that she also has with her son (his is a different item). Upon opening it, I tool a deep breath and sat back. During my previous marriage, we always received a yearly Lenox snowflake... 20 years of snowflakes that I had just unloaded was followed by another snowflake. I sat with my thoughts for a few days and then I realized something.
The Universe Listens The Universe NOT Siri (lol). I understand that everyone has different beliefs on how life shows them things. Years ago, when my life was admittedly a place of unhappiness, I wrote down the things that I needed my life to become. The list was not long, it was not (in my opinion) anything greedy but it was a private wish between myself and the Universe to make my world a place that I could be calm. I tucked this list into one of my cookbooks and forgot about it. Flash forward a few years while unpacking at my boyfriend's house, I found the list just as I had left it inside that cookbook- safe and waiting for me to realize that what I had asked for was granted to me. Some call it positive visualization - it was a plea when I knew my life needed to be better than what it was then.
Can we take just a moment to compare the list vs. what has happened?
It's a little bit eerie...
"I will be offered a job doing what I love the most" - If you don't already know, I now work for Equal Eats, a company that creates food allergy translation cards to dine and travel safely. I have known Kyle Dine for many years and I was beyond thrilled when this position opened up. Not only am I still able to help people within the food allergy community (a combo of my 3rd wish "I will continue to help others" ) but I work from home and the entire Equal Eats Team is just amazing to be a part of! Such a good vibe with a good mission.
"I will continue to create" while this part of my life has changed, I still do! I am not as active working with products and recipes but in all honesty, I am at a different stage in my life now. I was once part of that eager blogger crowd whereas now, I post and write when I want too. No more deadlines, no more pressure to increase social media numbers- just enjoying everything that I do. Stopping to smell the roses (and eat the food) instead of just taking photos of it.
"Things that hold me back will be removed" Anyone who has follows me as Nutrimom knows exactly what this refers to... I will share the article link but I will not give anymore energy to that portion of my life that I have shed.
"I will surprise myself as well as others" I always knew that I am strong but I never knew just how much. I have stepped outside of myself and just watched everything as it happened. Almost like I watched a movie about my life and was constantly rooting for me from the tv screen. Watching, with popcorn in hand (and maybe wine and chocolate) hoping that I would make the right decisions, say and do the right things and not crumble. And for the times that I thought I had been knocked down into less than, my energy instead renewed and I rose up each time with even more of what I should be. Each season seemed to have ups and downs but in the end, it was the happiest ending ever. The best part is that it's not even the end, it's just the beginning. A life sequel, if you will.
"I will gain freedom and stability" This, but to infinity. In every single way, on every level of my being I have reached this. I can breathe, I can feel life as it touches me, I can hold my head high and I can die tomorrow knowing that this was something that I have obtained.
"I will be loved and supported" Anyone who follows me on social media knows that I am. Not only by friends and family that have had my back but also my ooey gooey over the top PDA with Sean says it all. There has not been one moment that has passed since I met him that I have not felt anything less than love. To be told that we have a true partnership, that we have each other no matter what happens and to be told that he is proud of me... words and actions are so simple to use but so very necessary. Those men that everyone says do not exist- they do. He does. And it's freaking breathtaking.
Very beautiful Tracy, may you keep on shining girl! As a woman whose a tad older, I can promise you life is full of wonderful and glittery surprises. Keep on holding your head high. Life is too short for anything else.
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